I Suck at Gambling- NFL Week 16, 2013

Last Week: 5-9-1. My entire life: 35-35-3.

I love it. It never fails. I jumped four games above five hundred two weeks ago, and last week evened it right back up nice and square. Fantastic. Well, challenge accepted Vegas.

Dolphins (-3) over BILLS

Minnesota made it pretty clear last week, it’s definitely the season for teams that are terrible and already eliminated and who should just be setting their sights on the best draft pick instead of beating teams who are trying to clinch playoff spots. Big letdown potential for the Dolphins, on the road… I just can’t take the Bills. I can’t do it.

PANTHERS (-3.5) over Saints

And now I’m reluctantly taking Carolina. Bad luck for the Panthers that they keep drawing the Saints after they’ve been embarrassed, but it’s something of a revenge game for Carolina too after what happened a couple of weeks ago.

Cowboys (-3) over THE WASHINGTON D.C. FOOTBALL TEAM

The Cowboys can’t possibly blow it until Week 17… right?

RAMS (-4.5) over Bucs

I seriously think the Bucs are not bad. But I seriously think the Rams aren’t either. And are better coached.

JETS (-2) over Browns

Seriously counting on the Browns putting Weeden in to lock up the loss, because the Jets are not good.

Colts (+7) over THE KANSAS CITY FOOTBALL TEAM

With losses by the Broncos and Patriots and Bengals, maybe the Colts have a little more to play for? Maybe?

BENGALS (-8) over Vikings

Every week I take the Vikings’ opponent. Every week it’s the Vikings, not their opponent, who cover. Why should this week be any different?

Broncos (-10.5) over TEXANS

Double digit road favorites… I do think the Broncos are a little overrated and the Texans underrated… but at this point they’ve got to lock up the number one pick, right? Without any doubt? And Manning has a touchdown record to hunt down, so…

Titans (-4.5) over JAGUARS

Yeah…

SEAHAWKS (-10.5) over Cardinals

I feel the truth of my suspicion that the Seahawks have covered ever since that Tampa Bay game.

Giants (+9) over LIONS

I dunno why I did that. But after that last Lions game I guess I feel they shouldn’t be favored by nine against anyone, even at home.

Raiders (+10) over CHARGERS

The Chargers are good at times, and I would love to see them in the playoffs, but there’s currently a three percent chance they get in.

Steelers (+2.5) over PACKERS

Ugh. Matt Flynn? Again?

RAVENS (-2) over Patriots

Remember when the Patriots lost almost every single good player they had on their football team? Leaving only Tom Brady and their running backs, against one of the best rush defenses in the league? We remember that right?

EAGLES (-3) over Bears

Yeah…

Falcons (+13) over 49ERS

I think Atlanta gets up for this game? Monday Night Football, remembering we knocked them out last year?

And that’s Week 16!

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